IN #001CASE FILE
ASSEMBLED / 7 LAYERS
THE ORIGINAL
SACRILEGEMILD
THE VERDICTApproved retroactively and unanimously. The committee notes it had no choice.
NACHOS
CULINARY REVIEW BOARD / PUBLIC RECORD
THE ORIGINAL
A seven-gene construction submitted, scored, and retained for the record. The committee's findings appear below.
EXHIBIT A / THE GENOME
COMPOSITION
ON THE RECORD.
Every score is deterministic. Change one ingredient and the ruling changes with it.
BASETortilla Chipstexmex
BODYMasala Chana & Aloopan india
FATPepper Jackamerican
HEATFresh Green Chilipan india
ACIDTamarind Chutneypan india
COOLCoriander Yogurtpan india
CRUNCHCrispy Fried Onionshyderabad
CHAOS—NOT ENTERED
“Approved retroactively and unanimously. The committee notes it had no choice.”
SACRILEGE / MILD
EXHIBIT B / SERVES FOUR
THE ACTUAL
RECIPE.
The joke only works if the food works.
INGREDIENTS
- 01Yukon Gold potatoes2, cut into 1-inch cubes
- 02Chickpeas1 × 15 oz can, drained
- 03Olive oil2 tbsp
- 04Garam masala1 tbsp
- 05Corn tortilla chips6 oz
- 06Red onion¼, finely diced
- 07Pepper Jack8 oz, shredded
- 08Coriander chutney1½ tbsp
- 09Plain Greek yogurt½ cup
- 10Tamarind chutney3 tbsp
- 11Mild tomato salsa¾ cup
- 12Lime½, juiced
- 13Cilantro and mint½ cup each, torn
METHOD
- 01
Heat the oven to 350°F and line a rimmed sheet with parchment.
- 02
Toss the potatoes and chickpeas with oil, garam masala, salt, and pepper. Roast for 25–30 minutes, stirring twice, until crisp at the edges.
- 03
Layer the chips on the sheet. Add the potato-chickpea mixture, red onion, and cheese.
- 04
Bake for about 6 minutes, until the cheese melts.
- 05
Stir coriander chutney into the yogurt and dollop it over the nachos.
- 06
Finish with tamarind chutney, salsa, lime, cilantro, and mint.
- 07
Serve immediately. Nachos wait for no one.
EXHIBIT C / CREDIT WHERE DUE
NOTES ON
PROVENANCE.
Tortilla Chips
Mexican in origin and American in ubiquity, the chip that started this whole problem.
Masala Chana & Aloo
Roasted chickpeas and potatoes in garam masala form the body of IN #001.
Pepper Jack
An American cheese studded with chilies and the melt layer of IN #001.
Fresh Green Chili
Fresh green chili is the default direct heat of countless Indian kitchens.
Tamarind Chutney
Imli chutney is the sweet-sour keystone of chaat.
Coriander Yogurt
Yogurt folded with coriander chutney is the cooling gene of IN #001.
Crispy Fried Onions
Slow-fried birista is the sweet-savory crown of Hyderabadi biryani.